if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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