Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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