i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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