He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
