do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
