im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Holy shit dude........stairs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
