You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize