i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
