This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
