She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
