in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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