Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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