yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
