you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You ruined the universe
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize