I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
