I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
