so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
