So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize