You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
