forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
