I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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