doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
