Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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