i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
