I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize