maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
