i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
