I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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