I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize