Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
