Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
