hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
