Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got inside last night via doggy door
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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