Cold hands, warm shart.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
