He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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