I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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