I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
