whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
