it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
