I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
