I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
