oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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