maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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