I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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