if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
