If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize