i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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