what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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