The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
