i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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