did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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