i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
