honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't make out with my wife yet
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
