No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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