The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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