I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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