You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
