1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
