Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
